Condoms are only for penises

Myth-busting Monday: condoms are only for penises.

 

False

 

Condoms can be used for a variety of bits, including toys, for oral sex (including rimming), and of course, there is the “female” (or more affirming “vaginal condom”).

 

If you enjoy using toys and have multiple partners, putting a condom on a phallic shaped toy helps prevent the spread of STIs1, even if you aren’t using the toy for penetration (ex. a phallic shaped vibrator shared between partners). You can also do this if you shift the toy between various body parts – like from the anus to the vagina (ex. Use a condom on a toy for anal play, then pull the condom off before vulva/vaginal play).

 

Using a barrier during oral sex can help prevent the spread of STIs, though I’ve read that only about 2% of the population does this. I suspect the numbers are low because using barriers with oral sex isn’t commonly taught in sex ed, it isn’t represented in media often, and many folks don’t have dental dams on hand.  So what to do? If enjoying oral sex with a person with a penis, use a condom for oral sex.  If you enjoy giving oral sex to some with a vulva or pleasuring a partner with rimming, you can use a cut condom instead of a dental dam (See graphic here: https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/Dental-dam-use.html )

 

There are condoms for people with vaginas2, though they are more expensive.  What is great about these is that there is some additional skin coverage that is not obtained with a typical condom for a penis.  Some infections, such as herpes, HPV, and monkeypox (which is not an STI, by the way), can spread from skin to skin contact, regardless of penetration, so that bonus skin coverage = added protection.

 

More background and tips about condoms:

  • Condoms have been used for thousands of years, but the rubber/latex condom was invented in the mid 1800s3
  • Condoms come in a variety of materials – latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene, and lambskin. Lambskin can allow STIs through but are great for pregnancy prevention.  These all have different price points, and some have specific sizing recommendations.
  • Always check with the condom manufacturer for lubricant compatibility (lubricant manufacturers will have this info on their websites too), but the big one to remember is no oil based lube with latex condoms
  • There are barrier underwear on the market for oral sex4 – yay!
  • I shouldn’t have to say this but PLEASE DO NOT REUSE CONDOMS – “after play, throw them away”
  • Please be mindful of vaginal health. Some condoms and lubricants have harmful ingredients that can cause irritation, dryness, and yeast infections, like spermicides, flavoring, and glycerin. If it has glycerin or a flavor, it is probably not meant to go in a vagina…..
  • Gloves are great at minimizing the spread of STIs between partners or bacteria from one part of the body to another …..think of these as finger condoms. <3
  • Where can you buy condoms?, or sexy supplies in general?, some of my favorite adult stores are: (and no they don’t pay me to recommend them) https://www.sheboptheshop.com/ , https://www.goodvibes.com/s , and https://sexualityresources.com/

 

Happy myth-busting and condom-adventures, community!

 

Additional information

  1. My blog on STIs with additional information https://ignitewell-being.com/stis/ An information-loaded book to consider is Strange Bedfellows by Ina Park. Be aware that you can acquire some STIs in your throat, like HPV, chlamydia, and gonorrhea, making condom use during oral sex an important consideration.
  2. Female condom example https://fc2.us.com/
  3. https://wellcomecollection.org/articles/W88vXBIAAOEyzwO_ and https://daily.jstor.org/short-history-of-the-condom/
  4. https://mylorals.com/ – the taste isn’t the best but they have a light vanilla smell. Unfortunately these are only available in latex. Luxurity makes a barrier underwear too, but their product has not yet been approved by the FDA to prevent the transmission of STIs https://iamluxurity.com/

 

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The above content is written by Dr. Allison Mitch, PT (DPT), RYT500; sex-positive/affirming, trained, and trauma-informed sexuality counselor and educator (she/her/they/them); copyright protected, please cite accordingly.  The picture is from Pexels.

 

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