“I broke my butt”

Myth-busting Monday:  “I broke my butt with a plug”

 

(I love my job and that people can tell me this stuff. I never take my position as trusted advisor for granted.  This person’s concerns had been dismissed by others, and they could not find the answers they were looking for online so they came to me. This was a first for me, but I had the information and knew how to handle their concern. So this “myth” gets filed under a ‘yes, that’s possible/I need more information’ category)

 

As a sexuality counselor and educator, I do know that if you have a pre-existing health condition of the anus or rectum, these can be aggravated with some forms of anal play.  In this example, this person had a history of hemorrhoids, had a history of playing with plugs, but after one particular play experience, they developed a hemorrhoid within a day or two.  They felt some discomfort during play, but ignored it as the pain wasn’t described as “terrible”; it was the painful spot that turned into a hemorrhoid. In this situation, this person had  preexisting anal tissue issues that were likely aggravated by the plug (by way of pressure or strain).

 

People with a history of anal fissures and/or hemorrhoids have a risk of aggravating these conditions with penetrative anal play, in particular with larger toys or body parts.  They might have a history of pelvic floor tightness.  They might be older (as we age, our tissues become less forgiving and more delicate).  They might have diet issues that pre-dispose them to fissures and hemorrhoids (like a low fiber, low hydration diet).  Some of these things can be addressed (like pelvic floor tightness with seeing a pelvic floor therapist); others, like aging, cannot.

 

A person won’t know how their body responds to penetrative anal play until they try it and that response could fluctuate with time (as this person’s did), depending on diet, stress, lubrication, size of the toy, tissue condition, etc.  If you have a history of tears or hemorrhoids, but are curious about penetrative play, you can start with a small toy – a smaller size lets you see how your body responds and using a toy verses the body of a partner gives you, the receiver, more control.  You should not have pain or bleeding from penetrative anal play; if you do, you might not have used enough lube, proceeded too fast or hard, and/or you might have a flared up medical condition (like a hemorrhoid).  Please seek out the care of a medical doctor if you have concerns about pain or bleeding with anal activity.

 

Other tips for the anal explorer?,

  • Do not use numbing creams. Anal tissue is delicate and you need to pay attention to pain.  If you are in pain, adjust or stop the activity (note that this person sensed something was off but kept going anyway).
  • Use a lube that is complementary to any toys or condoms; silicone lubricant does well for anal play – it lasts longer than water-based lubricant.
  • Make sure this is something that you WANT to do. Arousal is your friend and will make your tissues more supple and relaxed, allowing pleasure to come forward. Fear and/or coercion don’t mix well with anal play or sex in general (ps coercion is a form of assault)
  • And, always use a toy with a flared base, so your body doesn’t decide to suck in the toy – this will save you a trip to the ER.

 

If you have underlying medical conditions and would like to explore penetrative play, but haven’t been able to because of pain or discomfort, please talk with a trusted medical doctor.  There are surgical and pelvic floor therapy options that might help.  Additionally, there are ways to explore anal pleasure without penetration, including playing externally with the cheeks or externally with anal massage. There are a ton of nerve endings in the back side  for lots of pleasure and sensation options.

 

As always, check in with yourself, check in with your partner/s.  You are allowed to like what you like.  You are allowed to have a body that responds in the way that it responds.  Honor your path, your body, your sexuality – just because others enjoy something (like anal), doesn’t mean you are deficient if you don’t. Conversely, our culture is very sex and body phobic.  Sometimes we want to try the thing precisely because it is taboo (like anal play), and in that case, it can sometimes be challenging to find reliable information.  For reputable anal pleasure resources, please see the two I list below as good starting points.

 

Happy myth-busting and exploring, loves. Thanks for reading!

 

Interested in learning more about anal pleasure?  Check out these resources:

 

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The above content is written by Dr. Allison Mitch, PT (DPT), RYT500; sex-positive/affirming, trauma-informed sexuality counselor and educator (she/her/they/them); copyright protected, please cite accordingly.  The picture is from Pexels.

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