Myth-busting Monday: A gnome in your neighbor’s yard means they are swingers.
Hmmmm, this one is a maybe (see articles below)…… but those gnomes sure got a lot more interesting.
“Secret” signals can be clever – subtle indictors limited to those familiar with the significance, but they are not always specific if you are using it to attract other like-minded individuals. Maybe people just like gnomes, in this case? (And perhaps reconsider gifting your mother-in-law with a garden gnome next Mother’s day, just to be safe lol)
I doubt people rely on these signs much anymore to find partners given that one can meet and advertise unique interests on dating apps, sexual interest meetup groups, and specific websites, though I understand there can be safety concerns with being out about your lifestyle choices.
For a historical and sociological context, monogamy is a newer social construct, emerging in the late 19th century (and is associated with capitalism/colonialism). Despite what we experience in our culture as the assumed norm, monogamy is only practiced by 43 of 238 societies worldwide (see Barker’s GSRD document https://www.bacp.co.uk/media/5877/bacp-gender-sexual-relationship-diversity-gpacp001-april19.pdf ). Practices such as consensual non-monogamy (including swinging and polyamory), relationship anarchy, and solo-ness are all a part of relationship diversity. Newer models of sexual orientation, such as the SCT and the GSRD explore relationship diversity more in-depth (see my post here for resources http://ignitewell-being.com/sex-gender-and-sexual-orientation/ ). Relationship diversity can be practiced consensually and is not (necessarily) pathological. For example:
“the goal of therapy is not to stop the non-monogamous person or people from being non-monogamous – just as we would not attempt to stop a gay or trans person from being gay or trans – rather it is helping them navigate their relationship such that non-monogamy can either be done consensually and openly, or the relationship can end or change if partners are too incompatible in terms of where they are at with non/monogamy for this to be possible” (Barker, from their GSRD document).
Happy myth-busting, loves. Or should I say gnome hunting? (You know you’ll be noticing people’s landscaping choices more now)
For articles discussing gnomes and swinging
The above content is written by Dr. Allison Mitch, PT (DPT), RYT500, sexuality counselor and educator (in supervision); copyright protected, please cite accordingly. The picture is from pexels.
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*Please note that none of the above information is specific medical advice, but is meant as educational information only. If you have concerns about your health, please contact a trusted healthcare professional*