Born This Way

Myth busting Monday: Born This Way

Loved the Gaga song, but it is not an accurate depiction of our sexuality. Sexuality isn’t fixed, at least not for everyone.

During the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s, assuming that sexuality is fixed might have helped with acceptance of the variety of sexual orientations Having a fixed sexuality at birth in some way absolves “fault”. And, the fixed view of sexuality may have contributed to legal protections early on too, but now courts pay more attention to discrimination in general.

Assuming that sexuality is fixed invalidates the lived experiences of many and isn’t scientifically accurate. Our acceptance of someone’s difference, from us or from our understanding and comfort, shouldn’t hinge on being “born this way”. We need to be open to people’s self-determination, autonomy, capacity to change/grow/know their own selves – this is part of compassion, love, and care for each other.

Fluidity is on the spectrum of “normal”, and, while we are on the idea of “normal” a narrowly defined normal is not and should not be the goal. Your sexuality is yours to name and live (minding the golden rule of consent). Including the fluidity of sexuality in our understanding and acceptance of possibilities is a part of increasing our society’s sexual intelligence, sexual ethic, and sexual stewardship for the generations to come. This is why I enjoy busting sexual myths as much as I do – we are remembering and re-imagining our inherent right to our bodies, our own wisdom of experience, and dismantling harmful and unethical assumptions and norms. This is so much more than sex – it is social justice and it is soul work. #ILoveMyJob Happy myth-busting, loves.

More information on sexual fluidity can be found here:,in%20favor%20of%20equal%20rights%20for%20sexual%20minorities

Interested in joining conversations about sexuality?  Check out our Pleasure Cafes and Let’s Talk About Sex Book Club (email me to register


#sexualethic #sexualintelligence #mythbustingmonday



Written by Dr. Allison Mitch, copyright protected, please cite accordingly.  Originally posted to social media on 3/9/21.    Image is mine.

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