Myth-busting Monday: Doulas are only for birth.
Nope.
There are a variety of doulas out there:
- birth doulas (during birth support),
- post-partum doulas (after birth support),
- antepartum (before birth support; particularly great for pregnant people on bedrest or in the antepartum unit),
- sibling doulas (to watch the siblings during the birth process),
- death doulas (to assist you or a loved one in the process of dying),1
- grief doulas (to assist you in navigating grief),
- abortion doulas (to assist you in understanding and processing an abortion)
- miscarriage doulas (to assist you in processing a miscarriage)
- fertility doulas (to assist with navigating fertility concerns and options)
- sex doulas (to assist you in understanding sexuality)
- transition doulas (to assist with marking and navigating gender transition)
Who knew, right? And there are likely other categories of doulas, depending on their talents and the communities they serve.
Doulas are essentially community level support people. They fill in the gaps created by health care, lack of spiritual resources, and/or lack of family care. They do not provide medical services unless they have additional licensure or training (such as nursing, massage, obstetrics, mental health), but many have supplemental gifts and talents that make their services valuable in bridging gaps, such as nonjudgmental listening, organization/scheduling skills (someone to set up appointments, run errands, coordinate meals, find childcare), offer supplemental wellness, non-medical modalities (aromatherapy, yoga, reiki, art), and create ceremony.2
Doulas are an unregulated industry3, though there are trainings available for those interested and able to afford the trainings.
I have used doula serves myself and it was some of the best money I spent – birth doulas, sibling doulas, and post-partum doulas4. They made my births feel safe, supportive, informed, and client-centered, particularly when obstetric staff often left me and my partner alone for long periods of time (fwiw – midwives don’t – they will stay with you during the entire birth).
Have you ever used a doula? In what capacity? And how was your experience?
I currently serve as a doula in 5 of the areas mentioned above: an abortion doula, a miscarriage doula, a transition doula, a death doula, and a sex doula. People going through miscarriage or abortion deserve support and care, and as a miscarriage and abortion doula, I support a person that is navigating, or has navigated, these experiences by offering a listening ear, connecting them with resources, providing wellness modalities for additional processing support (ex. meditation, reiki, art, shamanic practice). As a transition doula, I offer compassionate and reflective listening, connect the person with resources if needed, and offer ceremony if requested. As a death doula, I create safe, intentional space to discuss death by way of facilitating death cafes. I am a trained and skilled sexuality educator and counselor at the community level, so by definition, I am also a sex doula (supportive of the person learning about their sexuality); I offer nonjudgmental listening and an understanding of sexuality, with assessments and supportive wellness modalities (ex. meditation can be a great contemplative tool for sexuality) as well as options to connect the person to resources as needed. My training in sexuality supports my work as a transition, miscarriage, and abortion doula as well.
For those wanting more information on my doula offerings, please email me at [email protected] For those looking for more general information about doulas, check out these links:
- End of Life Doula: https://inelda.org/
- Birth(y) Doulas: https://www.dona.org/what-is-a-doula/
- Summary of various doulas from Planned Parenthood https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/7-different-types-of-doulas-and-what-they-do#:~:text=What%20is%20an%20abortion%20doula%3F&text=Abortion%20doulas%20are%20trained%20to,during%2C%20and%20after%20an%20abortion.
Best of luck in finding the support you need and deserve for any challenge or transition you are going through – there is likely a doula for that.
Additional Considerations:
- I used to want to be a formal death doula. I serve that capacity now by facilitating death cafes and create safe, intentional space to discuss something so critically important and also taboo.
- Ceremony is, personally, some of the most sacred work of a doula – creating a delineation of time and space for ritual and inviting something meaningful in is an underappreciated and underutilized skillset of many that call themselves doulas. I am a trained shamanic practitioner and ordained minister, both of which provide me with guidance to the creation of sacred space, ritual, and ceremony.
- The lack of regulation has pros/cons. The definition of, education for, and offerings around doulas are not standardized, which allows a practitioner to bring their personality, strengths, interests, abilities etc into their work in a way that best serves the doula, the client, and the community. The lack of standardization also keeps offerings more affordable. With standardization, trainings become longer and less accessible and the costs of the work goes up (by way of renewal fees, licensure fees, training, etc). As a member of the public, if you are interested in working with a doula, get references, ask about experience, and meet the doula, several times if needed, so that you can be sure the person under consideration can meet your specific needs.
- One of my favorite doulas that is still working as such is Shari Aizenman http://www.bodyworksatlanta.com/About_Shari.asp If you are a pregnant person looking for a birth doula in the Atlanta area, I cannot recommend her enough. A powerhouse of a person with such incredible talent. (I LOVE you, Shari).
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The above content is written by Dr. Allison Mitch, PT (DPT), RYT500; sex-positive/affirming, trauma-informed sexuality counselor and educator (she/her/they/them); copyright protected, please cite accordingly. The picture is from Pexels.
For more offerings that support sexual well-being, please see: https://ignitewell-being.com/upcoming_events/ or my EventBrite page: https://www.eventbrite.com/o/allison-mitch-41024584863
For more information on my offerings or to work with me directly, please email [email protected] or schedule with me via Calendly https://calendly.com/ignitewellbeing-naperville
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