If you need me in July, I will be napping: Thoughts on pride month and how to help

Yall, pride month is exhausting.


Currently on schedule: hosting (or co-collaborating in) 7 pride community events in 7 days.  And I am not the only queer identified community organizer going through this.  Most of us are.


How can you help? (I am asking because I/we would welcome it.)


Be good to your rainbow community and people, loves, as this is an complicated time of year for us:  the tokenism, asking for unpaid labor, the joy, the limits on bandwidth and sustainability, the cultural hostility that is ramping up so we feel the need to ramp up visibility, the grief around stolen lives and moments, the rainbows! but also the rainbow washing, etc etc.


Because of the voluminousness of to-dos of this month as well as the drains on energy, I have had to turn away several other pride collaborations as a person and a business.  Thank you for wanting the inclusion but here are some real ways to help:

  1. If you ask us for representation or education right now, please pay us well and regularly (not just in June; ex. donate to your local pride orgs all year),
  2. Invest long term in this work
    • How else are you doing this work outside of June; what are you doing?, and did you ask if that work was wanted or needed?, how are you challenging your internalized homophobia and transantagonism? if you work for an organization, how are queer folks represented and heard?
  3. And/or expect pushback as we protect our energy or challenge assimilationist views of sexuality/respectability (we are doing the best we can while staying true to ourselves, lets not gatekeep what authenticity and respectability mean).


These are not words directed at any one person or request or organization (I adore and appreciate those I work with and don’t crap blast on social media or blogs), but more of an acknowledgment of generalities I and friends have experienced and seen across our pride communities.


More ways to help:

  1. Give us substantive support in June and all year (see above – this is a long term relationship to activism).
  2. Show up at marches, parades, protests, parties, tabling events, community building efforts, where you can, and all while making sure these events are accessible.
  3. Make space for us to rest, not so we can do more, but so we can legit put some of this stuff down and heal and just….rest.
  4. Center marginalized voices – who is being left out?
  5. Ask us what we need, rather than assume and believe us when we offer an ask or need.



Love you, allies and ally organizations.  See you in August, after I nap (kidding, sort of).





Written by Dr. Allison Mitch (they/she), PT (DPT), CSE, and sexuality counselor; copyright protected, please cite accordingly.  For questions or to work with me, email ignitewellbeing.naperville@gmail.com    Image is from Pexels.

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